Toby Sinclair’s Post

I hate "growth mindset". Do you? For a long time, I used the word mindset: You need a Growth/Agile/[insert] Mindset. The problem. It can make people feel: - Judged - Inadequete - Broken This doesn't spark change. Instead, I do this. Focus on Behaviours. ▶ Reason 1: They are observable. You know if the behaviour has/hasn't happened. Feedback is specific. ▶ Reason 2: They are actionable. You know how to adjust. Progress becomes easier. What camp are you in? ✅ Yes to Mindset ❌ No to Mindset #coaching #leadership #management #mindset #change

Fake Questions = Flat Relationships Here’s the alternative: It’s harsh, I know. Fake questions are automatic. Those you ask without thinking. The problem. Conversations stay shallow. You stay in the safe zone. Hard problems require solid relationships. Observe the contrast: → How are you? > What's been your highlight today? → What feedback do you have? > What feelings do you have about this? → What is your plan? > How do you feel about the options? They inquire about the feeling. They saprk thinking. Exactly what sparks connection. #leadership #management #coaching

I avoided this conversation for 18 months. And I'm still losing sleep about it. When team performance is high, things are good. But when a team member underperforms, it's hard. I often avoid it. I wait, I coach, I encourage. I skirt around the issue. 🙈Is it just me? Or do you struggle too? In Radical Candor, Kim Scott labels this trap "Runious Empathy". Poor performance erodes company culture. Avoidance is not an option. These moments require radical candor. Be Direct. Be Kind. It's time to have THAT conversation. ➡️ How do you tackle these conversations? #leadership #management #coaching

What’s the point of this? How to eliminate conversation confusion: In Supercommunicators, Charles Duhigg says this. There are three layers of conversation: 1 - Action orientated conversations: What's the status on? 2 - Emotional conversations: What's on your mind? 3 - Social conversations: Who's watching Ripley on Netflix? A single conversation could traverse all three. Often there is a dominant layer. Most important for leaders: ➡️ Be aware of what’s needed right now, in this moment? Everyones been there. A leader jumps straight into business. When the team want time to share feelings. Start today. In your next meeting, ask: ➡️ Do you want to be supported, soothed, or seen? It’s a funky question, so share the context first. #leadership #management #communication #books #coaching

I was moved to tears. I'm inspired to do better. When awakward moments happen: - I correct "Don't be nervous." - I rescue "Shall I read it for you?" - I look awakward, away in the distance. I know many of us do this. The problem. These behaviours rarely grow the other person. Instead, I commit to be more like Micahel Sheen. I will: - Encourage "Take your time" - Smile and engage. - Embrace the silence. And I commit to being more like Leo. I will: - Ask questions when it's really, REALLY scary. ▶ How will you show up when it matters most? Hat tip to Johnnie Moore for sharing this video. #leadership #listening #coaching #silence #management https://lnkd.in/eVDwFFp8

Coaching can be simple. I use these 3 questions: 1️⃣ What is a good outcome for you today? Ask at the start. It invites contribution. It creates space. When you start well, results come quicker. 2️⃣ What is the real challenge for you? Ask when there's too much going on. It gets to the heart of the matter. It’s hard to answer, so ask with empathy. 3️⃣ What was most useful for you? Ask at the end. It delivers these benefits: ▶ Your partner reflects on what they shared. ▶ You learn what was useful. ------ Start today. Ask: 1️⃣ What is a good outcome for you today? 2️⃣ What is the real challenge for you? 3️⃣ What was most useful for you? ------ I love collecting questions. ✳ What questions do you ask almost every day? Comment below and I'll curate the best ones. ------ Hat tip to 📚 Michael Bungay Stanier for Qs 2 & 3. #management #leadership #coaching

Mentor like a Coach, not an Expert. How to unlock performance: The first thing any new coach learns is this. Coaching is not Mentoring. Many teach it this way: ▶ Mentoring - An experienced person giving advice. ▶ Coaching - No advice, ask questions. In my experience, this can result is terrible mentoring. It's much more than giving advice. Great mentors: ✅ Listen ✅ Ask ✅ Encourage ✅ Share experiences, not advice ✅ Celebrate success These are skills coaches AND mentors share. Mentor like a coach. It will help your mentee grow. What makes a great mentor in your experience? #leadership #coaching #management

Don’t give advice. Instead, share experience. Here is the difference: I love to give advice. I feel smart, clever and helpful. I can easly give advice like this: ✅ To get promoted you just need to [X], [Y], [Z]. ✅ To find a new job just do [this]. ✅ To learn how to coach, just do [this course]. Sometimes it helps. But other times: ↘ It narrows thinking. ↘ It can lead to disaster. ↘ It can overwhelm the other person. So the solution is never give advice? No, share experience. When I was seeking promotion: ▶ I was [in this context] ▶ I found [this] challenging ▶ I took [this action] ▶ I didn’t do [this] Then follow up with a question: ▶ How does all this relate to your unique situation? It's helpful but encourages clear thinking. ----- ▶ What’s your experience? #leadership #management #coaching #advice

I don’t know how I will recover. Helping team members bounce back after failure: This conversation really matters. Get it wrong, your culture will suffer. Everyone knows to "embrace" failure at work. But when it happens, in a big way.... It’s easy to: 🙈 Avoid it! 🙈 Assign Blame (either to the team member or someone else) 🙈 Overgeneralize The foundations of a great failure conversation: ✅ Safety Ask for input on the conversation approach. “When is a good time...?” ✅ Learning Ask more than you tell, whilst stating the facts. “This happened. What was your experience?” ✅ Celebrate Do a Dance! You had a conversation most never do. “What positives do we take from this? It's time to have THAT conversation #leadership #management #coaching #conversations

I'm a people pleaser 😀 I struggled to say No, until I learned: Early in your career, saying Yes opens doors. When you become a manager, things change. When you can’t say No. You create these problems: 😓 Too much work in progress 😓 Burnout 😓 Broken promises It becomes easier, once you know how to say No. In fact, the more you say it, the easier it becomes. 😎 What helps you say No? #leadership #coaching #management